8 qualities of a perfect husband:
Brave, Intelligent, Gentle, Polite, Energetic, Nutty, Industrious, Sensitive.
And if all else fails, read the capital letters only.
A teacher was teaching the topic types of gases and the students gave examples such as oxygen, hydrogen, carbondioxide and others. A boy in the class started laughing and when the teacher asked why he was laughing, he said it remains one that has not been mentioned. When the teacher tld him to mention the gas, he went to the board and wrote "FABREGAS"
at a bar someone yelled, "married guys stand next to the person who's made your life worth living"........the bartender was crushed
A family took Granny to a nursing home.The nurses sit her in a chair by the
window. She slowly starts to lean over to one side. Two attentive nurses straighten her up. She starts to tilt to the other side.The nurses rush back to put her upright.
This goes on all morning. The family arrive and ask "Are they treating you
alright?", "Its pretty nice" Granny replies, "except the bastards won't let u fart!"
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Killed any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 females", he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
HUSBAND: i love you
WIFE: is that you or the beer talking?
HUSBAND: its me....i am talking to the beer
Three
guys go to a ski lodge, and there
aren't enough rooms, so they
have to share a bed. In the middle
of the night, the guy on the right
wakes up and says, "I had this
wild, vivid dream of getting a
hand job!" The guy on the left
wakes up, and unbelievably, he's
had the same dream, too. Then
the guy in the middle wakes up
and says, "That's funny, I dreamed
I was skiing!"
Naughty boy draws a penis on a blackboard, lady teacher rubs off. Next day he draws a bigger one and writes REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS
Newtons 7th law of motion. When hand is in motion it produces lotion
sign outside a prostitutes house: MARRIED MEN NOT ALLOWED. WE SERVE THE NEEDY NOT GREEDY
Everything is made in China except babies, they are made in Vachina
A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters mother-in-law they come out to woman hitler
Q: what did Adam say to Eve?
A: stand back i dont know how big this thing gets
A boy prayed for a bag full of money, a job, a vehicle and many girls....he was made a BUS CONDUCTOR
Marriage is like a public toilet, those waiting outside are desparate to get in and those inside are desparate to come out
Tip of the day: what is the best way to make somebody remember you?....borrow money from them
