So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.

God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I
created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?

The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."

THE MISSING COCK (Mind your language.....)

A preacher lost his
rooster (male chicken) and all his search efforts Proved fruitless.
He then decided to mention it in church so that anyone Who knows its
whereabouts could advise accordingly.

The following Sunday While in
church in the pulpit he asked: "Who has a cock?" All
men stood up including his 87-year old
grandfather.

Embarrassed and not knowing what to say next, he
said: "I mean, who, amongst you saw a cock last night?" All women
in the church stood up including his 13-year old
daughter.

The priest started to blush when he realized what
implications that will Have on his image. He then said, "No, no, no.
What I mean is, who in the Last two weeks in this church, has seen my
cock?"

All the nuns stood up and the preacher collapsed.

You are one in a million _ Gramp Morgan

Yeah you know Its real good when you find that one in a million not afraid to say I messed up,
I seen a girl around the corner All it did was made me think of you and I I'm missing you (Girl) Feel like I can take no more I have been trying but you wont take my calls and I (Im missing you) girl I know I messed up but I fessed up thought a little time would bring you back now im a wreck cause it clearly wasn't so So tell me what to do or what to say to make it right Cause I need your arms around me every night
To me your worth a trillion your one in a million I'll never find a woman like you If you would give back your heart I swear by our love I'd spend a lifetime making it up to you Every night coming home to you
Ohhh ohh ohhh ohh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh Yea

  
My friends been saying time again gotta try to get yourself together I I'm missing you I do Sure I get the magnitude but refuse to give up hope you'll see that I'm missing you Just want you to know that ten years from now Ill still be knocking at your door now Your love irreplaceable irreplaceable So tell me what to do or what to say to make it right cause I need your arms around me every night

To me your worth a trillion your one in a million I'll never find a woman like you If you would give back your heart I swear by all of I would spend a lifetime making it up to you Every night coming home to you
 
Ohhh ohh ohhh ohh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh Yea Ohhh ohh ohhh ohh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh  

Yea To me your worth a trillion your one in a million I'll never find a woman like you If you would give back your heart I swear by our I'd spend a lifetime making it up to you. Every night coming home to you

Ohhh ohh ohhh ohh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh