TYPES OF PENISES AND BREASTS... HAHAHA...

A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it ok for us guys to notice all the different kinds of boobs?"
Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be normal if we didn't... there are all kinds of breasts... depending on a woman's age -
in her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions, Dad?"
"Yeah, you see them and they make you cry...."

Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?"
The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard.
In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?"
"Yep, dried up and the balls are only there for decoration..."

by Cäptain Babuu on Saturday, October

JOKE OF THE DAY... HAHAHA

After having failed his exam in"Logistics and Organizati on", Kim goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Kim: Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?

Professor: Surely I must, otherwise I would not be a professor!

Kim: Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an"A"for the exam.

Professor: Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?

Kim: What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give Kim an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an"A", as agreed.

Still puzzled, the professor later calls on his best student in his class, Matata, and asks him the same question.

Matata immediately answers,"Sir, you see, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an"A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal nor logical."

The professor fainted.!

by Cäptain Babuu on Monday, October

SEX TIPS.... MUST READ

• What You Need To Know
• Use the erogenous zones to your advantage - like the back to the right of the spine.
• Take your time when you're down below.
• It's scientifically proven that warmer feet lead to more orgasms.

Put On Musky Cologne
Smell is the strongest of the five senses when it comes to sexual functioning for two reasons: First, since anything musky mimics testosterone, it’ll kick her libido into high gear. Baby powder can have a similar effect by activating her “scent print,” which links babies to procreation. Second, because smell, sex and memory centers share close quarters in the brain, the scent of arousal leaves the most lasting impression. The second she gets a whiff of your musky cologne, she’ll be transported back to the last time she smelled it on your body.

Warm Up Her Feet
Every guy knows that when a woman hits the sack she loves to wedge her cold feet between his legs to warm up. Warm feet do more to make a woman physically comfortable than just about anything else -- even more so if you want her completely naked, which is not likely to happen if she’s cold, even with the lights off. What most of you probably didn’t realize was the importance of warm feet in increasing the likelihood of her experiencing an orgasm. According to Dutch scientists from the University of Groningen, the odds are increased by 30%. Maybe leaving the socks on isn’t such a bad idea after all. If you want to try something sexier, a foot massage with a warming gel can do wonders, especially if you concentrate on the pads of her toes and the webbing in between, which are linked to her nether zones according to reflexology charts. Moreover, lips, hands, feet, and genitals get the lion’s share of brain space, where feet and genital centers are neighbors, making them share sexy information. Why else do you think women call shoe shopping “retail therapy” -- especially when they’re not getting any at home and feeling bummed out? So socks or stilettos, you choose, as long as they’re keeping her tootsies warm.

Focus On Her 10 O’clock And 2 O’clock
When zoning in between her legs, just as you appreciate her indulging more than just your package, she’d like you to go for more than her hood ornament. If you run your tongue around her clitoral head, concentrating on the 10 o’ clock and 2 o’clock marks on either side, and then gently slip your tongue beneath the hood, you’ll have her moaning from the intensity. While bang-on is too sensitive, those two sweet spots will make sure that she takes a licking and keeps on ticking, thanks to the bulbs hidden just beneath. The best way to pull off this maneuver is to have her straddle your face as you lay comfortably on your back. She’ll get to lean into the headboard so she can drive the action with ease, since you’ve put her in the driver's seat.

Kiss The Right Side Of Her Spine
Touch on the right side of a woman’s spine makes her melt more so than the left side, perhaps because the left side of the braincontrols her right side and it's the logical side that can talk her into anything. Whether you’re kissing her there, stroking her or gently teasing her with a tickler, just make sure your moves are curvy. You’ll cover more mileage, not to mention get better mileage out of your touch, since it’s significantly more intense than a straight touch.

Climax Trickery
Time for you to take your tricks for a test drive. With all that attention, her skin will be flushed, her pupils dilated, parts of her shaking, and those she can steady, she’ll be pushing into you -- until she’s done and can’t take anymore, that is. Now that’s how to make her orgasm for real and, trust us, you'll be able to tell the difference.

by Cäptain Babuu on Saturday, September