to love you more celine deon lyrics

Take me back in the arms I love
Need me like you did before
Touch me once again
And remember when
There was no one that you wanted more

Don't go you know you will break my heart
She won't love you like I will
I'm the one who'll stay
When she walks away
And you know I'll be standing here still

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

And some way all the love that we had can be saved
Whatever it takes we'll find a way

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

Mathare University of insane creativity posts offline

Boy-Isn't Our Principal at MUIC An Idiot?

Girl-Do U Know Who I m?

Boy-No.. ...

Girl-I m His Daughter..

Boy-Do U Know Me?


Boy-Thank God..!..:P.............HEHEHHEH Good Night/Morning all....
If Paper is very
Tough in Exam,
just close ur eyes, take a Deep
Breathe & say Loudly
"Dis Subject is very Interesting, I want
2 Study it 1 more Time" ;) :D
ABBREVIATIONS Which Are Not Known To Many Of Us:

COLD : Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease.
JOKE : Joy Of Kids Entertainment.
AIM : Ambition In Mind.
DATE : Day And Time Evolution.
EAT : Energy And Taste.
TEA : Taste And Energy Admitted.
PEN : Power Enriched In Nib.).
SMILE : Sweet Memories In Lip Expression.
BYE : Beside You Everytime... =)
Phone call chart between patient DAN and psychatrist DOC.

DAN; Daktari i av a headache every morning i wake up.
DOC; Thats stress,do u know this classic FM morning show "kasheshe".
DAN ; Yes.
DOC ; Theres a commedian 'Kingangi" if u listen to him ua sickness wil go away.
DAN; But doc am kingangi himself aka Churchill Dan Ndambuki.
DOC ; Dead mute.
A guy writes a letter to his girl friend singing one of the best love songs which say”babybabybaby baby I love weeeeeeeeeeee................................. to which a girl replays ok you gave me love I put it in my shop that has never been to operational since it was built and now my shop is set on fire I want a fire brigade,,,, oh my God who can f**k me now?
Last Thursday was my Birthday,
My wife & kids didn't wish me,
I went to work,my friends didn't wish me.
I entered my cabin, my P.A said happy birthday boss.
I felt special. she asked me for lunch,
After lunch she invited me to her apartment.
There she said 'Do u mind if i go to my bedroom for a minute'?
'Okay Fine' I said nervously.
She came out few minutes later wit a large cake followed by my wife, kids, friends and i was sitting there
NAKED. :-(
Teacher: which is the best month of study?

Student: Octembruary

Teacher: dont be silly there is o such a month . . . . .

Student: exactly:D:D
Teacher: which is the best month of study?

Student: Octembruary

Teacher: dont be silly there is NO SUCH A A MONTH . . . . .

Student: exactly:D:D
Teacher: which is the best month of study?

Student: Octembruary

Teacher: dont be silly there is o such a month . . . . .

Student: exactly:D:D
Teacher: which is the best month of study?

Student: Octembruary

Teacher: dont be silly there is NO SUCH A A MONTH . . . . .

Student: exactly:D:D

Dear Sir
l refer to the recent death of the Technical manager @ ur company and wish to apply as a replacement to the dead manager,each time i apply for employment i am told ther is no vacancy but on this one i have caught u red handed cos i even attended the funeral and all burial proceedings and make sure that he was truly dead and buried before applying.
• kwenu nyi ni wengi mpaka last born anaitwa "enough is enough"
• hao yenu ni ya manyasi. wagondi (thugs) wakikuja, wana wika "funga ama tulete ng'ombe!"
• ati naskia uko na bonoko ndogo, hadi ukikojoa unaishika kama ndukulu,na uki mbao unaishika kama fegi.
• ati mlango za gari yenyu huwa zinafungwa na vifungo za shati
• kwenyu nyinyi ni mababi mpaka dogi yenyu hu-bark na tweng.
• nyanya yenu mzee ni mpaka alinyang`anywa I.D
• mbuyuako ni mrefu mpaka akianza kuvaa trouser ikifika waist ishakwisha fashion.
• kwenyu nyinyi ni wa black mkiingia kwa mat' dirisha zina kuwa tinted.
.• nywele zako ni ngumu before uchanue unameza painkillers.
• wewe ni mkonda mpaka socks zako hufunga na belt zisianguke.
• wewe ni fala hadi ulirepeat sunday school
• ati wewe ni mweusi mpaka shetani akikuona anasema….JESUS!
• ati mbuyu wako ni fala badala ya kukubuy text book ya form two, alikubuyia mbili za form one
• ngozi yako ni tight tu sana hadi ukifunga macho miguu inainuka
3 guyz r avn a drink in a bar,den a conversation abt coincidence ensues...da 1st guy says'wen my yf woz pregnant,she read da novel "da 2 cities" n gev birth 2 twins,de 2nd guy says his yf read "de 3 muskateers" n gev birth 2 triplets...den da 3rd guy started runnin' headin' hme,wen asked y he said 'my yf z pregnant n i left ha readin' ALIBABA N DA 40 THIEVES...bwahaha#DEAD#
A man who makes caskets was on his way to deliver one of the coffins when his car broke down. Trying not to be late, he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination.

Some policemen saw him and wanted to make some money off him (bribe), so they challenged him: "Hey!!! What are you carrying and where are you going?!"

The man said, "I do not like where I was buried, so I am re...locating".

The Policemen ran for their lives. 
during a muic test th teacher came into class and drew a door on th blackboard he then asked th students to get out,all the muic students in th class ran to th board and squeezed to get out however mutua remained seated.the teacher approached him happy dat at least one of his students waz learning.Teacher:why arent you going out? Mutua:i want em to struggle first before i give them the keys to that door.
Dear lecturer
If i study more, i knw more!
If i know more, i forget more!
If i forget more, i know less!!
Sincerely MUIC adm no 1584
Jamaican Man was making love to his woman for da 1st time ~he suddenly screamed & ran out Of da room.. came back wit a glass of water n pour it in da woman's private part ..Frightened, da woman shouted "Wot da Hell Ya Do Dat Faw?" ...da man answered, 'Damn'it woman .dis ting too sweet man ~me gwan dilute it, rememba me diabetic'
Teacher: Why did yu laugh?
Boy: I saw 1 strip of ur bra.
Teacher: Get out of the class for one week.
2nd boy laughed.
Teacher: Why did yu laugh?
Boy: I saw both strips.
Teacher: Get out for 1 month.
She bent down 2 take chalk. Little CMM
started walking out.
Teacher: CMM , why r yu going out.?
Cmm: What I just saw, I think my school days are over.
Teacher: Tell me an example of a creature which can live on water as well as the land?
Student: Frog.
Teacher: Another example?
Student: Another Frog!

Teacher: Where is ur native place?
Student: Maharashramizaksiomanikhanir.
Teacher: Can u spell it?
Student: Actualy my native place is Fiji.

Teacher: Give me an example of Coincidence.
Student: My mom & dad got married on the same date!

Once my gal friend
invited mi to her home. Wen i got
thea i found her siz alone @
home,once i sat down she
whispered to ma ears " u know u
r handsome n av bin admirin u 4
so long,can we av sex b4 she
comes?" I stood up n headed 4
the front door wea i hard parked
my car n to my suprise i found
ma chik ryt outside n she hugged
mi sayn " u av won my trust
swirie lets go back" moral of thiz
story "always liv yo condoms in
yo cars".
Three students decided to escape from Mathare.The 1st one said,'If the fence is tall we shall dig a hole n pass under it',the 2nd one said,'If the fence is short we shall jump over it'.The 3rd one thot 4 a moment n said,'Guys i cant see any fence there lets go back'.so bak they went.
EVD PTT 4012 CONFIDENTIAL(coz they might be reading) 
TOP TWEETS ON TWITTER follow me @mathaeuni
1 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2 Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

... 3 I want to die peacefully in m...y sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

4 The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

5 Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

6 Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

7 We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

8 Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

9 We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

10 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Please Read all the posts, OK?

Below is a list of the 10 petty
offences .
Beware: The City's deadliest sins
1. Buying from hawkers
2. Sitting on a flower pot in the CBD
3. Spitting on any footpath or blowing
the nose aimlessly other than into a
suitable cloth or tissue
4. Taking or alighting from a matatu
from a non-designated area
5. Crossing the road while you are on
the phone
6. Making any kind of noise on the
7. Playing any game, riding or driving
or propelling on a foot path
8. Graffiti
9. Owner of a burning building should
pay for fire fighting services whether
the owner requested for attendance
or not.
10. Loitering.
11. Having you car with a 'FOR SALE'
sign and haven't paid the council is
also punishable.
[Fabian Babaclyde Mbatha]

• kwenu nyi ni wengi mpaka last born anaitwa "enough is enough"
• hao yenu ni ya manyasi. wagondi (thugs) wakikuja, wana wika "funga ama tulete ng'ombe!"
• ati naskia uko na bonoko ndogo, hadi ukikojoa unaishika kama ndukulu,na uki mbao unaishika kama fegi.
• ati mlango za gari yenyu huwa zinafungwa na vifungo za shati
... • kwenyu nyinyi ni mababi mpaka dogi yenyu hu-bark na tweng.
• nyanya yenu mzee ni mpaka alinyang`anywa I.D
• mbuyuako ni mrefu mpaka akianza kuvaa trouser ikifika waist ishakwisha fashion.
• kwenyu nyinyi ni wa black mkiingia kwa mat' dirisha zina kuwa tinted.
.• nywele zako ni ngumu before uchanue unameza painkillers.
• wewe ni mkonda mpaka socks zako hufunga na belt zisianguke.
• wewe ni fala hadi ulirepeat sunday school
• ati wewe ni mweusi mpaka shetani akikuona anasema….JESUS!
• ati mbuyu wako ni fala badala ya kukubuy text book ya form two, alikubuyia mbili za form one
• ngozi yako ni tight tu sana hadi ukifunga macho miguu inainuka
This year
October has 5 Mondays, 5
Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This
Happens once every 823years.
This is called money bags.

A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a Arsenal scarf.

Hello mate," says St. Peter,"I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven."
What?Exclaims the man, astonished.
You heard, no Man Utd fans.
"But, bt, bt, I've been a gud man," replies the Man Utd supporter.
Oh really, says St. Peter. Wat have yu done, then?
Well, said the guy, Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 pounds to the starving children in Africa.
Oh,says St. Peter. "Anything else?
Well, 2 wks b4 I died I also gave 10 pounds to the homeless.
Hmmm.Anything else?
Yeah.A week before I died I gave 10 pounds to the Albanian orphans.
Okay,said St. Peter,You wait here a minute while I av a word with the governor.
Ten minutes pass b4 St. Peter returns.He luks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God nd he agrees with me.Here's your thirty pounds back, now screw off.
Teacher ;" What do u want to be when u grow up?"
Little Johnny ; " A doctor ".
Teacher ; " Why ?"
Little Johnny ;" Bcoz thats e only job where u can ask a woman to take off her clothes & make her husbamd pay for it ". 
UJINGA NI KUKOL DAME KWA PHONE AND SHE GOES LIKE" aki hata nimenini ,uyo jamaa ameni nini mpaka i ninid before i was ninwad by the funny kanini he got in his nini..hahaha aki i wass Soo nini at that time" Add more.. by Joshua Mbaga-Laugh Factory
Simple Home Remedies By Joshua Mbaga Arap Keige

1) If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and PRONTO!!! The blockage will be instantly removed.

2) Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing veggies, by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away!

3) For those with High Blood Pressure, simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure on your veins.

4) Finding it hard 2 get up in the mornings? Just place a mousetrap on your alarm's snooze button! No more rolling over and falling asleep again.

5) If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you wil be afraid to cough!

6) For toothaches, get a hammer and hit your thumb as hard as you can! You wil forget about that toothache in a jiffy!

Most irritating moment: Morning alarms :@

Most difficult task: to find sOcks :P

Most dreadful jOurny: way tO class :(
mOst lOvely tym: meeting friends :D

mOst tragic news: test in 1st periOd :'(

most wOnderful newz: teacher is absent ;)

most relaxing area: BACK BENCHeS :D:P

most funny mOment: when teacher cracks a jOke and nObody laughs..:P
EXAM LEAKAGE.....Msiamshane:

What is more useful after it is broken?
An egg :D

Which is the most shocking city?
Electri-city :D

Name two thingz you can never eat before Breakfast?
Lunch & Dinner :)

How many men are born in Europe?
None, only babies were born :D

If ur clock strikes 33 pm, what times it is?
Time to buy a new clock ;)


A married lady was expecting a birthday gift from her husband.

For many months she had admired a beautiful diamond ring in a showroom,

and knowing her husband could afford it, she told him that was all she
As her birthday approached, this lady awaited signs that her husband had purchased the diamond ring.
Finally, on the morning of her birthday, her husband called her into his study.
Her husband told her how proud he was to have such a good wife, and told her how much he loved her.
He handed her a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, the wife opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible,
with the wife's name embossed in gold.
Angrily, she raised her voice to her husband and said, 'With all your
money you give me a Bible?' And stormed out of the house, leaving her

Many years passed and the lady was very successful in business. She

managed to settle for a more beautiful house and a wonderful family,
but realized her ex-husband was very old, and thought perhaps she
should go to visit him. She had not seen him for many years.
But before she could make arrangements, she received a telegram
telling her that her ex-husband had passed away, and willed
all of his possessions to her. She needed to come back immediately
and take care of things.
When she arrived at her ex-husband's house, sudden sadness and
regret filled her heart. She began to search through her ex-husband's
important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as she had left it
years before.
With tears, she opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. Her

ex-husband had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11,
'And if you, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more shall your Heavenly Father, who is in heaven,
give what is good to those who ask Him?'
As she read those words, a tiny package dropped from the back of
the Bible. It had a diamond ring, with her name engraved on it --
the same diamond ring which she saw at the showroom.
On the tag was the date of her birth, and the words.'LUV U ALWAYS'. How many times do we miss God's blessings, because they are notpackaged as we expected?

'The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.'

Posted by Sherrysha Monique Omashe on facebook

About Miss Fabulous

The Miss Fabulous Kenya Pageant is a community driven Competition committed to addressing health and education, two leading social issues in every community. The winner “Miss Fabulous Kenya” pageant uses her platform to promote HIV and AIDS awareness during her reign. Participants learn character building, peer education, Team building and critical thinking skills. Confidence and positive self-esteem, personal identity and cultural diversity are just some of the advantages and benefits introduced by Miss Fabulous Competition.
Young ladies of all backgrounds seek the honor of representing good Behavior in the competition. Each participant displays her speaking skills, educational accomplishments, poise, beauty and talent in order to win the coveted “Miss Fabulous Kenya” the pageant will feature a distinguished panel of judges from among renowned community leaders, entertainment celebrities and organization leaders who will evaluate each contestant and make the final decision on the winner.
The winner should mentor youth in community service, and also in the attributes of being a future “Miss Fabulous Kenya” which includes poise, appearance when in public, manners, kindness and service to others.

News on Miss Fabulous Kenya 2011

The quest to find Miss Fabulous Kenya continues as the date for its open audition as Saturday, the 8th of october 2011. The mission is to find the Fabulous Queen of Kenya
Applications are welcome from anyone between the ages of 18 and 35 that hails from any of the county and is based in Kenya.
Apart from the chance to be Miss Fabulous Kenya and gain immense exposure and fame, the Queen will have the opportunity to give back to the community by working with affiliated charities and engaging in awareness creation and fund-raising to aid the plight of less privileged groups.
The audition judging panel comprises of Media personalities, Top Models and Model scouts, Model trainers and Fashion entrepreneurs who are also on the lookout for fresh individual talent from the pool of contestants.
For more information or to apply for Miss Fabulous Kenya click here:

Yes, Google really should worry about Facebook

The algorithm is the key to success.

That's how Google replaced Yahoo as the Web's best search engine in 1998. Google became the font of the online world's information by both finding more information online than any other search engine, and by figuring out what of it was the most important to the Web's users. Google algorithmically connected the Web to people.
Facebook, by contrast, has always been about connecting people to each other, but as the the latest version of the Facebook platform illustrates, the company is now about using that information to do what Google has traditionally done: connect people not just to each other, but to things, ideas, and media.

The algorithm is a big part of today's announcement at the F8 developers' conference. The algorithm can determine what you're likely to like based on who you like, what you do, where you go, which apps you use (and how), and so forth--all of which is information that Facebook will now collect through its own service and all the apps that are being built to run on it.

Google also knows what you do online, but it doesn't have close to the same depth of personal information that Facebook has, for two reasons. First, Google's core service, search, is a way station, not a destination. Google knows where you're going because you transit the site and because you may be tipping it off through your browser's search bar or through ads on the sites you visit. But Facebook is a destination. People go to Facebook and stay there. And communicate. And like. And so on. All the while, Facebook collects the data.
Second, Facebook knows who your friends are. In addition to the fact that you tell it this when you "friend" people, how and with whom you communicate on the site is more data that Facebook's algorithm can use to classify your connections to other people. When you respond to what Facebook is now calling "lightweight engagement" activities in the Ticker--when you decide to listen to a song alongside a friend, for example--Facebook files away this information, building, bit by bit, a dossier on your preferences and the people who are most likely to influence you.
For advertisers, this data is more valuable than Google's. Facebook will be able to cluster likely interest groups together and sell marketers access to those people. The company will be able to work with media companies to make advertising on their pages more effective. This is a serious and credible threat to Google's position as the Web's premier advertising provider.
For users, Facebook will, probably quickly, learn what each of us is likely to like by watching what we do on the site. This will help solve a big problem on a Web overloaded with novel information: discovery. By mining the "data exhaust" collected from the activities, links, likes, and so on that we all generate, Facebook should be able to predict, with increasing accuracy, what we're most likely to engage with, be it music or grocery ingredients.

If Facebook gets this wrong, users will continue to complain about the new design of the site as being too cluttered and confusing. But if the algorithm starts to feed people links to things they like but didn't know they'd like, it means the algorithm is working and Facebook is on its way to becoming the source of the most valuable information on the Web: who likes what, who they influence, and how to reach the people most likely to influence others (hint: go through their friends).
It's scary to see one single company own this database, but Facebook is coating this pill in sweet candy. We will find music we love through it. We will connect with friends to go on hikes with it. We will learn things from publications using Facebook because we see our friends reading them. And we'll make the whole thing easier for our friends, and Facebook itself. But stuffing Timelines full of personal resumes of preferences and activities.
There will likely be privacy missteps along the way, as Facebook turns on the algorithm and makes the data available to more developers through its platform. One might be tempted to step away from Facebook or to try hard to not engage with the flow of attractive links and media that comes through it. But I think it's going to be hard for people to say no to what Facebook will soon be offering.

ABOVE (( Mark Zuckerberg describes how Facebook will connect people to media based on the strengths of their connections to other people.
(Credit: James Martin/CNET))

Read more: CLICK HERE

Google Launches Google Affiliate Network 2008

When Google acquired DoubleClick, the company has brought with it its affiliate ad network program called Performics. But Google never did something to push Performics as one of its advertising program, until now. Google has renamed Performics as the Google Affiliate Network, and Amazon with its popular Affiliate Marketing Network called Amazon Associates have something to worry about.
The Google Affiliate Network works like your ordinary affiliate ad network, whereby publishers get paid for every successful sale transactions that their site brings to advertisers. The program works separately from Google Adsense but as Eric Schonfeld noted, it will just be a matter of time before Google integrates the two online ad program. But that is if the Google Affiliate Network succeeds in getting some good ground.
To get into the program, you need to sign-up and create a new account. Bear in mind that like all affiliate network your site needs to pass some criteria which relates to your site traffic. Specifically for the Google Affiliate Network:
  • Manage a site that attracts a desirable audience.
  • Can test advertising offers and nurture the most productive relationships.
  • Are an expert in driving and converting visitor traffic.
  • Adhere strictly to Google Affiliate Network quality standards and advertiser policies.
If you are an online merchant, I guess Google doesn’t have too much prerequisite except of course the ability to pay for those ad campaigns.

Safaricom Shops- the better option

The retail and customer care stores were set up with you the customer in mind.  Their main purpose is to:
  • Provide customers with quality products backed by reliable warranty
  • Provide face to face customer care to our customers
  • Set Retail Service and Product standards, and
  • Give opportunity for feed back from you the customer.

Why buy from the retail centres?
At our retail centres you will be met by our well trained and friendly staff who will ensure that you buying and service experience is a pleasant one.  Here you can expect
  • Safaricom only sells only original handsets, laptops and accessories directly from the manufacturer
  • Individualised attention and care.
  • An answer to your queries regarding SAFARICOM products and services,
  • Warranty back up for all products,
  • A superior service backup.
  • The best value for money

Contact details
Opening Hours
Kenya National Library Services Building, Mumias Road next to St. James ACK Church
Weekdays: 8:30a.m-7:00p.m
Saturday: 8:30a.m-4:00p.m
Sundays & Public Holidays: Closed
Galleria Mall, Langata/Magadi Road Junction opposite Bomas of Kenya
Weekdays:8:30am-8:00 pm
Sunday and Public holidays :10:00am-5:00pm
Jomo  Kenyatta International Airport (Lounges), Gate 6 and Gate 11
7 Days a week (Including Public Holidays): 6:00a.m. - 12:00 Midnight
Balfour Building, Ground Floor, Kimathi Street, Nairobi
Weekdays:7:30a.m - 5:30p.m
Saturdays: 9:00a.m-4:00p.m
Sundays & Public Holidays : Closed
Shankardass House,
Ground floor, Moi Avenue, Nairobi
Weekdays:  7:30a.m – 5:30p.m
Saturdays: 09:00a.m – 4:00p.m
Sundays: 10:00a.m – 2:00p.m
Haria House,
Kwame Nkurumah Road, 
Weekdays –  8:00a.m. to 6:00p.m
Saturdays - 9:00a.m – 4:00p.m.
Sundays  & Public Holidays closed
I & M  
I & M Towers, Ground floor,
Kenyatta Avenue, Nairobi
Weekdays – 7:30a.m. to 6:00p.m
Saturdays  - 9:00a.m. – 5:00p.m
Sundays  & Public Holidays -   10:00a.m – 4:00p.m
Village Market Mall,
Limuru Road, Nairobi
Weekdays: 9:00a.m- 6:00p.m
Saturdays: 9:00a.m -5:00p.m
Sundays & Public Holidays: 10:00a.m -5:00p.m 
Westgate Mall , 1st floor
Mwanzi road, off Peponi road , Nairobi
Weekdays- 8:30a.m - 8:00p.m
Saturdays: 9:00a.m - 5:00p.m
Sundays & Public holidays: 10:00-a.m 4:00p.m 
Sarit Centre,Karuna Road, Lower ground Floor,
Saturdays: 9:00a.m-5:00p.m
Sundays and Public holidays :10:00a.m-4:00p.m
Nakumatt Mega, Uhuru Highway,
Sundays and Public holidays: 10:00a.m-4:00p.m
Muli Mall,
Town Center
Weekdays: 8:00 am– 5:00 p.m.
Saturday: 9:00 a.m. –1:00 p.m.
Sundays & Public Holidays: Closed


If you are looking for funny, witty, or sweet status updates about love, dating and relationships, this is it...
  1. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.– Albert Einstein
  2. Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
  3. You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
  4. When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.
  5. Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say!
  6. You can’t buy love on eBay.
  7. If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
  8. A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
  9. Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
  10. I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
  11. The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
  12. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.

If you are looking for funny, witty, or clever facebook status message updates regarding children, you have come to the right place. Below are some of the most hilarious sayings of all time on the subject!
  1. Explaining the Mad Hatter’s “unbirthday” to your child is a decision you will regret 364 days a year.
  2. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
  3. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
    word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
  4. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching
    them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years
    telling them to sit down and shut-up.
  5. Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
  6. I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids
    do you want?
  7. Children are natural mimics who act like their parents,
    despite every effort to teach them good manners.
  8. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like
    shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.
  9. “There is only one pretty child in the world… and every
    mother has it.” -A  Chinese Proverb.
  10. Children will soon forget your presents. They will always
    remember your presence.
  11. The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind
    yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
  12. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.
  13. “Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?”
  14. You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of
    the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.
  15. A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after
    you’ve purchased new school clothes.
  16. Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby”
    has never tried it.
  17. The best inheritance parents can give their children is
    a few minutes of their time each day.
  18. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
  19. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
  20. Children in backseats cause accidents – Accidents in backseats cause children.
  21. The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
  22. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

How Does Search Engine Optimization Work?

SEO Part 1 - What Does SEO Stand For?

SEO is the common abbreviation for Search Engine Optimization.  This is the art of building or changing your website so that it is likely to achieve high rankings in search engine results.  In other words making it search engine friendly.  Search Engine Optimization is a huge subject, and this is one of three pages covering the most important aspects of SEO. As this is part of an art related website some of the references are particular to artists, but the principles of SEO are exactly the same for any website about any subject. This page only covers one main aspect of SEO, so please ensure you read the other two in order to get a better understanding of how search engine optimization works.

How Does Search Engine optimization Work:
Why Is It So Important?

Whether you are an artist or in any other type of business, it is practically impossible to operate effectively without a website. Even if your website is just for fun or information, you still want people to see it, and if you attract a reasonable number of visitors, you can earn money from it whatever it is about. If you already have a site, or are planning to create one, you will need your website to show up in the search results when someone is using a search engine to find whatever it is your site relates to.  If it doesn’t, then you will either have no visitors, or have to pay for advertising in order to get visitors.
If you are an artist, for example, then unless you happen to be famous enough for everyone to search for you by name, you need your site to show up when people search for 'wildlife paintings', 'glass art', 'portraits in oils' or whatever other phrase your potential customers are likely to type into Google.
When I first set out to build a website, I knew nothing about how to create a site or how to get it to show up in search engine results.  My site now ranks inside the top ten out of over three million for my main keywords, but by building my site before finding out about search engine optimization, I ended up having to completely re-do most of my site each time I discovered a new piece of vital information.  For this reason, it is infinitely preferable to design your site from the start with an understanding of how search engine optimisation works.
It is said that if your site does not show up on the first three pages of Google search results it may as well not exist, and I have certainly found this to be true. My visitor numbers increased dramatically once I reached the top ten on Google. There is an enormous amount of rubbish on the web about magical ways to zoom straight to the top of the search engines. Please be aware that there are no great secrets that will achieve results overnight. There are some fundamental aspects of SEO which you cannot avoid addressing if you want to achieve high rankings, though there are various tools out there that can help to make the job less arduous and time consuming.

How Does Search Engine Optimization Work:
Lesson One - Content Is Everything

There tend to be two main approaches to SEO – one is known as 'black hat' and basically involves trying to fool the search engines into ranking your site high up by exploiting loopholes in the algorithm (the formula that search engines use to work out rankings).  The other is using 'white hat' techniques, which is doing what the search engines actually want you to do and providing good quality websites.
Apart from having no interest in adding to the mountain of crap that already exists on the net, I think black hat techniques are counterproductive anyway.  For one thing, you can't fool the search engines for long, they will rumble the ruse, maybe ban your site, then you have to start again and find the next trick, which is never ending. Are you really smarter than the people at Google?? Doing it properly in the first place means that you create a site of quality which will continue to rank highly for years, even if you do nothing else to it.
I'm going to stop talking about 'search engines' and simply say Google, because in reality that is all that matters.  It is so far ahead of the rest in terms of users, and if you get it right for Google, you can be pretty sure you will do OK in all the others.  I'll just get a couple more terms out of the way here – ‘spiders’, ‘bots’ or ‘web crawlers’ are the automated programmes that scan the web looking for web pages.  They use this information to create an index of websites that are then used to produce the results when someone searches for a term. 'GoogleBot' is Google's own particular scanning programme.
Content is everything. What Google wants is an internet full of quality websites, filled with interesting information.  That is part of what it is trying to judge when it ranks websites.  Websites need content - information – meaningful words.  This can be a disadvantage for artists as a large part of our content is in the form of images.
When GoogleBot looks at your website is does not see how pretty the design is or how clever the Flash images are.  If you want to see an example of what Google thinks is good web design, look at their home page. Keep it simple.  Do not bother with Flash or anything fancy, it will only hinder your SEO efforts.
Your site structure too should be logical, so that GoogleBot has no problem finding all your pages.  Start with your home page, then have several links to different sections from there.  Each of these sections can then have several more links, so you build a tree-like structure.  If you go deeper than three layers of pages search engines may struggle to index the deeper ones.
Whatever stage you are at now will obviously determine where you go next with regard to search engine optimisation.  If you already have a website, I truly hope it is ranking well and attracting many visitors. If not, you may wish to consider what would be involved in a serious overhaul, or whether you might be better off just starting again.

How Does Search Engine Optimization Work:
Where Do You Go From Here

If you want to understand the basics of search engine optimization, please ensure that you also read the other pages on this site covering the two other fundamental aspects of it, which are links and keywords.
If you are quite new to building and promoting websites, you may feel a little daunted by some of the information on these pages, which believe me is just the tip of the iceberg. Search Engine Optimisation is a MASSIVE subject, but you simply cannot ignore it if you wish to get traffic to your website. Unless you are wealthy enough to pay an SEO company to do this work for you, this means that there is a lot of work that you need to do yourself.
The good news is that there are a number of SEO tools available that can help save time with the main aspects of search engine optimization. You can find thousands of software programmes that claim to work miracles. It is very easy to go wrong with these and waste your money, so be carefu

How Do Websites Make Money

If you have ever wondered exactly how people make money online just by setting up a website, let me help you find out. The great thing about an income generating website is that you do not even need to sell anything directly yourself, which makes things so much easier; no stock, no shipping, no after sales issues, no online payments or any of that stuff. The other great thing is that your income continues to come in even if you are asleep or on holiday! However, that does not mean it does not take a lot of work - beware of anything you come across that suggests you can get rich quickly with no effort. The only people getting rich are the ones selling you this fraudulent idea.

How Do Websites Make Money - The Basic Principle

OK - here is the basic principle behind how websites make money:
You create a website about any subject you want, you attract loads of free visitors to it from search engines, some of whom will click on adverts and links to other sites. You get paid either for every advert click or whenever someone buys something from one of the other sites you provide a link to. You have to understand that this is a drastic simplification, but it sums up the mechanism for how you get your income from a site that sells nothing at all directly.
Your website really can be about absolutely anything, though you should be aware that some subject areas can be more lucrative than others, depending how much competition there is for advertisers and what products or services are available to be sold in that particular niche. By the way, niche is a word you will come across a lot in the field of online business. In order to succeed, it is quite important to find a niche market that is not being targeted by millions of other websites. It is easier to get to the top in a small field of competitors than one full of businesses with lots of money and expertise to throw at the problem of getting visitors.

How Do Websites Make Money - There Are No Magic Short Cuts

It is easier if the subject of your site is something you know a lot about or feel passionate about. The subject of your site is less important than the fact that you can find plenty to say about things relating to it. It is of course perfectly possible to research a subject you know little about and this is a great way to learn more about new subjects you are interested in. You need to set up a relatively simple, well structured website with lots of pages of information, advice or guides. This should be genuinely useful information that will be of interest to your target niche market.
There are no short cuts here. The only way you will get any income is if you get lots of visitors, and the only way you will get lots of visitors is to create a site that offers people interesting and useful information. Make no mistake, no matter what your website looks like, or what adverts and links you have on it, your income will only ever be in direct proportion to the number of people who actually visit your site. Ranking highly enough in search engine results to get visitors to your website is a big subject in itself (search engine optimization), but making sure your website is full of useful and unique content is the first step in this process.

The 3 Basic Steps To Building Your Own Website

This website currently gets about 1,200+ unique visitors every day from search engines. This traffic costs absolutely nothing and is achieved by targeting words and phrases that I know for sure people are searching for every day. Keyword research is the absolutely essential first step when you are trying to build a website that will attract visitors. Remember, unless you get lots of visitors you will make no money at all. You can create a wonderful looking site providing lots of great information, but unless your pages are targeted at what people are actually looking for, your lovely site will go unseen.

1. Keyword Research Tools

The only way to know what people are searching for is to use a keyword research tool. A good tool will tell you what words and phrases are actually being searched for on the search engines and it will tell you how many searches per month are being done on each one. It will also show you how many other websites are competing for those phrases. You can use this information to identify keywords with enough traffic to make them worthwhile targeting, but not so much competition that you will never achieve top rankings in search results.
You need to identify lots of words and phrases that you will optimise your pages for, which together will allow you to bring lots of free traffic to your site. There are only a few really good tools out there. I use one called Wordtracker, but a good alternative is Keyword Discovery. Without the vital information that these tools provide, anything you do on your site could be a complete waste of time. I tried to manage without them when I first started, but learned the hard way after getting to the top of Google for keywords that I then found out no-one was actually searching for. A keyword tool is one of the best investments I have made.

2. Domain Name And Web Host

Your domain name is the unique URL of your website, such as, and it is best to use your keyword research to find one that will help you get traffic. There are hundreds of websites you can use to find out which domains are available and to register one, but you can usually get one free when you choose a web host for your site.
The easiest approach is to find a good web host that will include a free domain name and you can register it when you sign up for hosting. All web sites must be hosted somewhere. A Web host provides powerful computers where you can store the pages of your website. They are stored on robust servers and that is where all visitors to your site are directed when they click on links to your pages. There are thousands to choose from and there are plenty that offer perfectly good hosting for very little money. However, you do need to take care

Make Money Online with Google adsense /adwords

What is AdSense? earns most of its revenue by allowing other website owners to advertise on their search result pages. All this is managed through a program they call AdWords.
Now you can earn a share of the revenue that Google earns from AdWords by displaying these same text ads on your site.  In other words, you're helping Google advertise and they pay you a percentage (roughly 60%) of what they earn.
This program is called AdSense.
Every website owner should at least consider the program.  Even if your site is just for information purposes, you can still participate and make decent money with AdSense -- or at least enough to fund your website.
So if you are one of those people that doesn't like the idea of paying for a site, this is an excellent way to earn your money back and then some.

How Much Can You Earn With AdSense?

The commission you receive per click depends on how much advertisers are paying Google for the particular ad. You will earn a share of that amount.  I've heard of earnings anywhere from 2 cents to $15 per click.
So it is logical to believe that keyword phrases like debt free, employment, make money, mp3, sex, etc. will earn you more per click since these are highly competitive keywords that are searched for quite a bit on the web. 
Advertisers generally pay more for popular terms because they are searched for more.
Even though Google will not reveal how much you are earning for each ad that is clicked from your site, you can still login to your account at any time and see the total amount of revenue you've generated that day, week, month, year, etc.
For example, if you see that you've made $12.60 today from 9 clicks then you can calculate that your average click-thru commission was $1.40 per click.  That's as detailed as their stats will get.  Also remember, that's only an average.  You won't know how much each specific ad brought in.
The amount you'll earn also depends largely on the amount of targeted traffic you receive to your own site, how well the ads match your audience's interests, the placement of the ads on your pages, and of course the amount you receive per click.
Ideally, you should create a site on a topic you know a lot about.  That way you'll have a much easier time creating a generous amount of content on that subject. 

Creating Your Website for AdSense

Before you even begin your site, make sure you've come up with a topic that you feel you know plenty about.  That way it will be easiest to write a lot of content. 
The more content you have, the better chance you have getting accepted into the program.  Also, the more content, the greater the earning potential.  AdSense is nothing but a numbers game.  If you want to make a lot of money, prepare to write a lot of content.
Now let's talk about building your website.  There are two ways you can approach this:
1) Do it Yourself (DIY) from scratch
2) Use Site Build It! (SBI!)

The Do It Yourself Method

I've actually used both methods for building my site and there are advantages and disadvantages to both.
If you use the DIY method, you will have to go and register a domain name ( and then sign up for a web host and build your pages.
Decide if you want a static website like this or a blog. If you don't know the difference, this article will help you out.
Averaging between $7 and $15 per month, the DIY method is usually the most cost friendly of the two but you are mostly on your own in terms of learning how to create your web pages and adding the AdSense code to your site. 
Web hosts are generally there to house your site.  They don't specialize in helping you market and optimize your site for the search engines to help you get traffic.  So don't expect a lot from them in terms of helping you market your site and making money with Google AdSense.
This is

How to Join AdSense

Once you have 10-15 pages on your site, go to to apply.

When you are accepted, simply copy and paste the provided HTML code into any page that you'd like to show the ads. If you've done a good job of defining the content on your web pages, the ads that show should be relevant to the content of your page...increasing the chances of click-thrus by your visitors.
You can either display the ads vertically along side the page like Google does or in a banner-like formation horizontally across your pages.  The placement is up to you.  You can even customize the colors to match your site's theme.

Tips on Succeeding With AdSense

Here are some tips for achieving success with Google AdSense.
1.  Create a website with your (  Don't try to use a free web host because your site will likely have banners and pop-ups and get rejected because it looks unprofessional. Not to mention, a free web host will give you a website address like this:
instead of...

Start by registering your own domain and then select a web host.
2. If you don't know web programming or have no desire to learn it, buy Artisteer (for blogs and static websites.)
Keep in mind you can't use the software alone.  You must have a web host that will allow you to publish your site to the Internet.
3.  If the main goal of your site is to make money with AdSense, be sure to choose a topic that you know a lot about so you can write lots and lots of content.
4.  Get traffic. Once your site is up and running you'll need to learn how to get your site listed in the major search engines and use social media. 
And while you're waiting it's important you build up as much unique content around your theme as possible. Google loves large sites with useful content centered around a specific theme.
Don't create a hodgepodge site with topics on everything under the sun. Stay focused and make sure your site has an obvious theme.
 not necessarily a bad thing.  I had to learn how to build this site on my own and it wasn't very difficult. 

Operation Chomoka Msanii Season 1 Officially Starts

Monday, September 19 at 1:00pm - October 1 at 11:30pm


Get recorded and produced by the best producers in town for free. What you need is fans to vote your lyrics as the best in all the entries we will receive then impress a panel of judges that you can Rap, Sing Or chant. This panel of judges has the right to admission and will also decide on which songs we can do videos for after production.This Is an Initiative of Sonic Sounds, Jamox And The Influx... Foundation. Invite all your fans and friends to join Our Chomoka Msanii Page on to prepare in advance. Only Eight Lucky but talented Artists will Make it to the both and later their music will be distributed to Over 72 Radio stations Across the world. The all free competition of the finest starts this October. we are also inviting any partners on bond.
Terms and conditions apply.




TIME:9 A.M-4 P.M

We are looking for a lady that will be committed to using her position and influence to better the lives of others, promote awareness to the plight of the less privileged & privileged , be prepared to contribute to the development of the community and most of all be a great AMBASSADOR OF CHANGE Kenya based and a role model for young Kenyans .

Competition Categories
1.Evening Attire: carriage, composure, dignity and presence in evening wear
2.African Attire: originality, creativity, style, presence, grace
3.Talent: Presentation, performance, entertainment, creativity and artistic skill in talent
4.On-stage Interview: Knowledge, intelligence, eloquence, poise, and charisma and sophistication in interview

Aspiring contestants must meet the following conditions in order to be eligible

1. Be a lady of , at least 18years and above.
2. Speak at least one of the following languages: English & Swahili
3. Reside Kenya during the period of the event.
4. Fulfill registration formalities before the registration deadline.

Also to be considered in scoring:
Relevance to the African culture
Mental discipline
Connection to the audience
On stage awareness

Hey everyone - this event is going to be absolutely fabulous. Please help us ensure that as many people as possible enjoy it. Please invite your friends - go to the event page "Miss Fabulous Kenya" - click the link "+ select Guests to Invite" and invite ALL your friends. Its gonna be a fabulous evening out .

Tbroz Kenya

Hello guys keep tuned to metro fm (101.9) today as from 1:00 pm(shortly after news) to listen to the show opener song 'SUPERFRIEND' by T-Broz; to vote/request for the song as the shows goes on send 'BIG UP' followed by the name of the song(SUPERFRIEND) by T-Broz to 5199. We look forward to your unanimous love, cheers

Raficorn Millers

Raficorn flour Millers is a flour milling company located at Eastern kenya-Mwingi near Old Posta grounds,near the small gate to Mwingi market place (marikiti).The company started running from 2008 and has been on top in product quality given that there product are KEBS certicified.
Non governmental organisations also contact this company to produce food products for releif distributions in most cases in mostly the North eastern parts of Kenya and upper Eastern kenya. With a sister cereal selling company (Rafiki Cereals Store), this is a reputable company given that it also distributes cereals and grains to most schools and institutions in the region. The company also has transport facilities so you are well sorted when purchasing from them. Kitui, Machackos and mwingi considering the Garissa Highway from thika Matuu and other parts of the region can get in touch for their products.

Arestus -0725657402

Raficorn Flour millers
Po box 341-90400
Mwingi kenya

By Daves 0727822710