Ways to annoy people:
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Never make eye contact. ...Never break eye contact..
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
A doctor at MATHARE MENTAL HOSPITAL was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. ,,,SEE MORE
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff,you lick it. To get it in, you push it!
Do you also have this problem when you are tryin to put thred in a needle?Mathare University of Insane Creativity
Your present state is the reflection of the software ur operating on,some of us are operating on bhang 2011/mututho Xp/upoko OS-X,others on outdated software 83' n Y2K.U nid to clean ur hard disk of any virus,bug,worm whch s making it to crush!
Johnny was asked to write an concise essay containing the following elements:
4. Mystery ...
His essay read:
'My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did
44 as forty four,
33 as thirty three,
22 as twenty two,
..why then don't. we pronounce 11 as onety one?.
TEACHER Vs JOHNNY..................................Johnny
JOHNNY: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
TEACHER: no, of course not.
JOHNNY: good, because i didn't do my homework.
One day machizi wa mathare walikuwa wanasafirishwa frm nai 2coast.bt ilibidi watumie flight.wakiwa juu wakamak noise sana so dok mmoja akashomoka kuwawarn bt akapata chizi mmoja ametulia akamwita akamshow.'ambia wenzako wasare kelele kama wewe'.akarudi ndani,after 5min kulikuwa kimya akamwita akamwambia umewashow nini wako quite hivyo??akamjibu rahisi nimewambia wakacheze nje wote!
driving a big truck, notices a man
and a woman making love in the
middle of the road ahead. He
blows the horn several ...times. He ...finally applies the brakes
desperately and the truck just
stops inches from the mating
couple. Trucker: You bastard!
Didn't you hear my horn? Man: I
did But I was coming! She was
coming! You were coming! And
You were the only one with
Jst imagine, a wife lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband..
maid replied...."babake sammie siunajua vizuri mimi sivaangi suruali"???
A Morning Prayer
Good morning God,
I come to you again today in the name of Jesus. ...I choose to worship you in spirit and in truth …
I choose to glorify you God in everything I am and do today …
I choose to love you with all my heart, soul, mind and strength …
I choose to love your Word … so help me God.
I choose to be available for you today to use as you will … so help me God. AMEN
Usikojoe hapa ukipatikana,
utakojolewa Pia wewe,
Na ukikunia utalazimishwa ...kubeba take away upelekee bibi